Your Great Grandmother Vi

Hello my little, little --


You were on my mind a lot this past weekend.  Your daddy, sister, and I traveled to Arkansas to see your great grandmother Viola Sharp.  We had a lovely visit.  Morgen charmed her quite completely and your daddy learned lots about your Nana's family and, through that, he learned more about me.


Daddy also showed her some videos of you.  She was taken with your bright eyes and happy smile.  We showed her lots of pictures of you as well and said you were just beautiful.  So it seems that you are still able to capture the hearts of people just through our recorded images and stories.


I shouldn't be surprised by that.  Especially when the person we are introducing your memory to is family. 


Your sister Morgen was quite smitten with GGMa.  She laughed and smiled and spent most of the visit rolling around the carpet in her apartment.  


I spent so much time watching her, whether at GGMa's or on the plane or our little rental apartment.  And, while I did so enjoy just watching her, I could not stop wondering what it would be like if we still had you with us.  I can hardly even imagine how much you would have changed by now and I cannot help but think of how different Morgen would be if she had her sister by her side.  And I long for that.


At one point I said, "I so wish you could have met Sonne, grandma.  She was such an amazing kiddo."


She said she would have liked that.  She went onto say that she didn't know what it was like and she supposed she never would since her three kids are all grown up with kids and grandkids of their own.


I found myself thinking, here is a woman who's lived nearly a century.  She's raised three children and buried her husband of 50+ years.  She lives in constant pain from her body slowly breaking down and, while her short term memory might not be the best, her long term memory is strong and she still very quick witted.  She's of an age where friends die.  She experiences loss on an all too regular basis and yet, she can't imagine what we have gone through.  I felt such compassion and empathy from her.  She knows, without actually knowing, that losing a child is akin to nothing else.  And it's not that others don't know this, but rather there was something about the way she conveyed it that touched me so deeply.


I'm not sure that we will see her again and that makes me sad.  And yet, she has lived a long, full life.  Yours was all too short, but I do believe it was full of that which matters most -- Love.


xoxo...Mommy.